GRRRRRRR

I'M SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF.

I'm fucking fat and lazy. This has got to change. I've done nothing but loaf and eat for the past month and while my weight hasn't changed too much, I feel like a damn slob.

I can also feel my mood getting more and more negative as the time goes on due to the lack of sunlight etc. I totally bummed out on one of the things I said I was going to do this year, and that was spend more time outside even if it was just doing nothing but watching the kid run around.

It all just comes down to me being lazy and unmotivated. My clothes fit, I can still get around.. I'll just do it tomorrow... Well I'm not waiting till tomorrow. I started today. I need to cut back on my juice, I need to prep my veggies, more water! More exercise. I set up weeks ago my custom workouts on EA Sports Active, and I'm looking into getting a accesory kit that goes with it with adjustable resistance bands as well as the EA Sports Active More Workouts.

need to do some updating

including my measurements and what not. gotta work first. then i'll tell you all about what i have and haven't been doing

near made my 10% goal

9-21-09:180 was my 10% goal this month... i am 188. Pretty close and I'm pleased with that.

July 26 Reports

less carbs, more protein!

i need to do that. dinner tonight killed me. I guessed on the "applebees" food only becasue really, most chain restaurant eats have about the same about of crap in them. I think Mex's is a bit nicer than Crapplebees, but hey i'll be doing good if i aimed high with it as i was over my high end of the calorie limit for the day by 53. Also not enough physical activity today.

July 24 - Reports

Too many carbs, not enough proteins. I thought I'd be wicked over my calorie intake going out to dinner last night espesh after eating the bread/peanut butter and salami.

unf. really. just unf.

So yeah, I need to do something. I can officially fit into a 12, however due to flub that squishes around, I look like oversized muffin from Starbucks. Talk about a total downer to the OMG SIZE 12. I also am SUPER pissy with the makers of jeans. I think jeans with the exception of bathing suits, are the most hated piece of clothing by women to shop for. It seems these days that it's more of a chore than usual to find a pair of structured denims. Everything is spandex infused, and if it's not spandex infused, it either sits at the hip or below your belly button. I don't really want to wear Mom jeans, but hell, I'd love to wear something that to keep from having muffin top I don't have to wear 2 sizes too big and then walk around hitching my pants up like a fat kid playing kick ball. I'd also love to have those jeans keep my body shape the way it should be, instead of stretching out in the most innappropriate places accentuating the fact I'm unfit. It's infuriating. I tried on no less than 14 brands of jeans in several different styles each today and I came home wearing my $10 stretchy jeans from Wal-Mart that are quickly thinning in the thigh.

I did the veggie thing last week. I have to chop up this week's supplies. I did my BMR calculation according to the link over on Steph's blog. 1607 calories is my BMR. A caloric reduction of 500 calories puts me at the danger zone, so 1200 calories a day it is. I've done this before I can do it again, espesh if I'm increasing my fitness level. That being said, it's time to go have a shower and the kid a bath. I did some power walking this morning, and I'm going out walking on a photo trip this afternoon.